Helpful Reading for Forsyth County Residents Coping with Loss

One of the comforts at a time of death is knowing you are memorializing your relative according to his or her wishes. But there can be discomfort in bringing up the topic for discussion in advance. Getting started Choose a time when both of you are relaxed and don’t have other pressing business. Use a soft start to bring up the subject.

The period of mourning is a time when our thinking processes are interrupted. People who are grieving often find themselves unable to concentrate for long periods of time. They may go into a room and forget why they went there, or they feel generally disoriented and confused. These behaviors are a normal part of the process and not something that is likely to continue at the same intensity for months on end. Still, it is unsettling while it is happening.

If you are helping a relative downsize for a move, it is often helpful to sort belongings into four categories: items to keep items to throw away items to sell items to give to charity Items to keep and to throw away have obvious action steps. If you have a lot to dispose of, ask the local waste hauler to drop a debris box at the curb. Be sure to shred anything that includes personal identification information.

Has your loved one ever flatly rejected your perfectly sensible solution to their problem? Though your idea may seem like the obvious route to take, it’s not so simple when you’re caring for an older adult. Your loved one has had a lifetime of making his or her own choices. If a decision must be made, start with one simple principle: Take your eye off the goal. Focus on the process instead. We all want to be treated like people rather than like a project in need of completion.

The death of a loved one and the grief that comes with it often destroys dreams—dreams of what could have been, dreams of what should have been.  Grief often destroys hope, as well.  The Hospice Healing Build, a new and meaningful partnership between two local non-profit organizations, Habitat for Humanity and Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, seeks to help bereaved members of our community rebuild hope by providing active and meaningful ways to process grief.  “We tend to think of grief as only an emotional experience

As Bette Davis said, "Old age is no place for sissies." Aging often brings loss and change. Usually people can adjust. But sometimes the changes can be too much and trigger depression. (See last month's article about the signs of depression.) Left untreated, depression in older adults can lead to other serious problems.

When your family member is in pain, you are suffering too. The "mirror neurons" in our brains are programmed to recognize pain in others. That's good news, in that it arouses compassion and spurs us to action. But it can be bad news, too. When you're highly attuned to a loved one's pain, you're at higher risk of depression and self-neglect. Learn about pain management. Your ability to reduce your relative's experience of pain will help both of you.

It's easy to know what to do when a parent has a medical crisis: Go to the ER. But without the red flags of an emergency, it can be hard to know if there's a health problem that needs attention. Often, there are subtle signs of trouble brewing.